I am a geek

I have spent my life trying to figure out who I am. I just watch an old episode of scrubs that covered JED being the king of the dork. My whole life I have been a middle child. Which for most people might not be a big deal however if you met my siblings its probably understood. My older brother is the suave attractive type of guy. He can sell anything to anybody. He has great friends behind him. My younger sister is the class act of the family. She is both beautiful, intlelligent, driven and social. She is the one that I have not met a single person that has said a bad thing about. Now mind you she had to grow up with John and I before her. So she could watch our mistakes( and just me there were a lot of them). But it's weird being the in-between the two stars. I have been a social person however I do find it hard in certain circumstances. I have always felt like at times I can be a leader however I realize I think I am limited to leading only certain folk. Maybe I sell myself short, not sure since I have proven myself. But its a lot of pressure to be the middle child when both of your siblings have been so successful. Not only that I am the only child to not have a degree. Though I know I am going towards it. It seems weird, that why was I not able to achieve it when everyone else did. I know it nothing to do with smarts. I think one of my biggest flaws is that I think I am smart. I base it mainly on work. People at work seem to not think for themselves a lot. I find myself answering questions throughout the day that could have only taken a few minutes of thought to figure out. Now at one point I am not knocking it because I probably would be looking for a new job if that was the case. This whole rambling comes after spending 4 hours on the phone on a Friday night with work when I wanted to go out. I had to walk someone through how to trouble shoot a problem with an application that has been there for more then 4 years. The employee in question has been with the company and department longer then I have. However people don't ever feel the need to learn things until they are required. This guys is at least 10 years my senior. The funny part is people talk about our generation as being the lazy people. I completely disagree. I think our generation understands more then past generations. Before your job was to focus and learn one thing and one thing only. Nowadays, we are required to know as much as possible about all subjects that is possible. Being a geek I am also required to know how certain function of banking works(that's my industry). But 20 years back that wouldn't have been required. This could seem like someone shit on us and we got the bad end, however I view it as a bigger opportunity. We have the ability to change the entire market place with our knowledge. We no longer have to be limited to be in a one direction job. Instead we move to other avenues of opportunity base on what we know. So keep up the good work and in the long run it will all pay offl